Post Wedding Blues??

I am not sure if this is normal or not, as of lately I have been feeling used and unappreciated. At work, at home, all round. I am not sure why this is. I just got married, I should be happier than a pig in mud.....*don't get me wrong, I am so happy to be married to the man I love*....but I guess just all around in life don't feel appreciated or compensated for the person I am. I tend to put other peoples needs before my own. This may have to do with the fact that I had grown up in a small town. However, in the city people like me get taken advantage of. Or at least this is how I am feeling. I feel I get taken advantage of at home and at work. I think mostly at work, and it trickles down to home. When really the little things I do at home aren't really what's bothering me.... I don't think. I feel like I deserve a raise, however, how do you ask for one and turn around in a week or two to tell your employer that you are leaving at the end of the year. Arg... what to do. Overworked and underpaid..... is this the way life is always going to be?

(Example of differences I find from city to small town: It always amazes me how people forget a simple thing like manners. When you hold a door open for someone don't you deserve a simple 'Thanks'? I would say 2 out of 5 people will thank you if you are so kind to hold a door for them. I think I realize this so much because I work in the heart of downtown. It is a busy place, with a lot of connecting buildings and A LOT of people. There are children that come into our office and instead of saying "can you please turn up the volume of the tv?" they will just yell from across the room "Can you turn up the volume!?" Most times I will say back to them, "Can you please say please and thank-you?". I am not sure how parents feel about this, but I don't like to tolerate rude behaviour. So, this doesn't help with the feeling appreciated aspect of things.)

So, I am wondering, is this because of the wedding being over? (and yes I have been procrastinating thank you cards, soon I promise) Am I feeling lost over the fact that I don't have something huge that I am planning, and requires the majority of my time? Or is it simply because I am lazy and don't have the wedding to blame for my laziness?

Well no matter what the cause is for my sudden case of the blues I am going to nip this thing in the butt before it gets out of hand. I am thinking that I have to take more initiative and get off the couch and fill my night schedule with something for me. Yoga? Good possibility. Going to the gym? Another good idea. Walk the dog nightly? A fantastic idea for both her and me and maybe we can wrangle Cam into the works. I am however, a creature of habit and schedule. So I need to find a way to get in all of my 'must do chores' and the things I want to do.

I apologize for this blog, it was more of a posting for me and my sanity and getting thoughts and feelings out in the open. However, if anyone has any thoughts to my craziness and a possible solution on how to deal with it I am all ears ;o)

Once all is said and done............

I can't believe that a week has already gone by since 'the wedding'. I must say that I am relieved that it is all over with. I am not sure what to do with my time at this point, but I am sure something will spark my interest. I am really enjoying the fact that I can finally call Cam my husband. I didn't expect much to change with us and our relationship when we decided to get married, and through the whole engagement, but I find that I have this strange sense of happiness come over me. I feel as if we have started dating all over again. It is great!

The name change is going to be the most difficult I believe. Already at work I have been trying out my new last name..... I still want to sign the two "ll" in my last name. However at work, when packages come in, I have been practicing signing McLean.... isn't so easy. In due time. It is just going to be a long process to change my name with everyone that I need to change my name with. Who will I forget to call, and how will it screw things up for me in the future..? I really don't think it is that big of an issue.

I have delegated Saturdays to be our dinner date nights. I think that once all the hustle and bustle of the week is over it is nice to be able to sit down just the two of us (maybe we will ask people to join us one day) and have a nice supper for the two of us. Because I don't work on Saturdays this gives me time to go get all the ingredients that I require and the time I need to make these fancy meals. Our first was stuffed pork tenderloin, with herb spaetzle and sauteed veggies. Yes I made it myself!! Somehow, with the help of a wonderful cookbook that everyone should own, I was able to make everything required for the supper from scratch even the spaetzle. The cookbook is called: Favoured Flavours From Fiddler's Green Restaurant by Lynda Manson.

So I guess now that people can't ask us "when are you guys getting married?" the next question in line is "when are you going to have babies?" hahaha little do these people know we have other plans for right now, and sorry to be the bearer of bad news but no babies for a little while :o) We have Australia to conquer yet.

I really think that being married is just another chapter in my life that I have now started to write. I am looking so forward to everything that lays ahead of us on this little journey we have embarked on. I have a wonderful husband who loves and adores me with every flaw I may have, and I absolutely adore and love him. And the pug is happy now that her mommy and daddy are married.

And then there was 8

Finally my last day of work before I go on holidays for a week, and what is great about these holidays is that at the end of them I get to get MARRIED!!! I am so happy and excited. I am trying to keep my cool and composure over the next 7 days but I know it is going to be hard to contain myself when there are people all around me getting me excited.

Luckily Cam also only works till 2:00pm today so that means that we will get on the road a little earlier than we had expected. Which is good, however, we won't get to Nelson till midnightish.... I am sure we will have our good friend RedBull with us to help guide us there. I am a little upset that it is so hot in Nelson right now because there have been so many fires spark up, which means smoke everywhere, and ash falling from the sky. Being with a now retired forest firefighter I don't mind the smell of smoke because to me that smells like money :o) HAHA Anyways, life is good and all will be well.

I am not sure what to expect after all is said and done. I am not anticipating too much change, but you never know. Cam and I have so many changes coming up for us that it is so exciting how everything is just falling into place. First we are getting married, then in December we will move all our stuff back to BC, then in January hop on a plane to Australia, then once we finally come back (if ever...wink....wink) we will move to Vernon to eventually purchase a home and start our little lives together and who knows maybe a family.

Anyways I am off, I need to get some stuff done before I head home.